“No! This isn’t possible!”
Tara Reade stares at her GoFundMe in shock. Not only has she not reached her $200,000 goal, the donations have stalled. A flush of rage blooms on her Rubenesque cheeks as she begins to pace back and forth in her bedroom.
Alexandra’s Tara’s mind is a whirling dervish. By this point, she expected to have the $200,000 she demanded, if not more, deposited in an offshore bank account. She expected Larry Klayman, a possibly disbarred but very famous lawyer, to be serving subpoenas to every single person who had ever insulted her on Twitter. But now, nothing. Not even $2,000.
“What am I going to do?” she screams at her popcorn ceiling. Suddenly, she stops. Tara is nothing if not gleefully manipulative, and she understands what her admirers need, how to convince them to give her all the money she wants. She has to beg for help.
But who to target? What mean person on Twitter will Tara’s supporters hate as much as she does? Tara trembles with anticipation as she begins going through all 14,981 of her screenshots. There! Rebecca. The perfect target.
Tara stands and goes to her floor-length mirror. In order to pull this off, she thinks, she must be in the right frame of mind. Tara practices her facial expressions: Wounded Bird, Dying Fawn, Delicate Doe, Strong But Vulnerable Vole. She chooses Delicate Doe.
She logs into Twitter. Breathing deeply, Tara calls out for her white knights to come to her aid. “Help me” she writes, pouring all her manufactured victimhood into the tweet. “Help me find out why and who this Rebecca Berry person has trolled me for months in media and spreading liable about me and allegedly offering money to people for smears?”
Yes, it’s a horribly constructed sentence, but Tara knows what she’s doing. If she wants her 4Chan rescuers to believe she is in danger, her tweet must look as though it is being typed under duress. As if her hands are shaking so much, it’s nearly impossible for her to even use her keyboard/phone.
It doesn’t matter to Tara that Rebecca is a survivor of sex trafficking, sexual violence, and domestic abuse. It doesn’t matter to Tara that what she’s asking her small army of trolls to do is illegal. The goal is to drive people to the GoFundMe, the goal is conning idiots out of their money.
Tara curls up on her bed, content as a cat in the sunshine. She smiles, somewhat cruelly, and waits for the money to come rolling in.